As you venture back into the classroom, I hope you are excited at the prospect of the next semester. This post is for newbies and anyone interested in classroom management.

Teachers are taught to invite discussion. We are shown ways to create classroom rules through democratic processes, for example. Students sometimes choose the rules for their classroom with guidance from a questioning teacher. Mostly, this democratic process triumphs since students know the answers to the Making-Rules Quiz. They have been using similar rules for years. Teachers may throw in prompts, pointing out useful words like respect.

Discussion can be overrated, however. Explanations can also be overrated. For one thing, five minutes explaining why we keep our hands to ourselves represents a time loss of 25 students X 5 minutes or 125 total possible learning minutes. By this time of the school year, the explanations should mostly be done, except for a few exceptional new transgressions. (We don’t sanitize people’s shoes without their permission might be one case in point.) When transgressions arise now, I recommend taking the responsible student aside while other students work if you feel that student needs clarification on the rules.

I also recommend skipping the explanations entirely sometimes. Feel free to say “no,” just the single word “no,” without explaining or justifying yourself. “No.” This one word can say it all. If a student demands an explanation, tell that student that you don’t have time to explain during class because you have too much material to cover, although the student is welcome to come talk with you about your decision before or after school. I always figure any student who cares enough to stay after school to get an explanation deserves an answer.

But you are the Captain of your ship. We should teach democratic processes in our classrooms, but our classrooms are not democracies. If they were, many students would spend most of the day in gym, art or recess between bouts of eating pizza and cheese fries.

My “Life” magazine from the preceding post was issued on May 16, 1969. Here is another snapshot of history. S stands for students, P for parents, T for teachers, and A for administration in the “Life” polls.

In this time of racial unrest, I find this poll instructive. In 1969, we were a full 14 years past the Supreme Court decision Brown versus the Board of Education of Topeka, Kansas, which integrated America’s schools. Yet the “Life” poll asked these questions, questions that have an inherently offensive undertone in my view. I found the answers thought-provoking.

Fourteen years after Brown versus the Board of Education, we still had all white high schools to integrate. We still do. In the poll, teacher and student percentages ran close to each other. Teachers and students were much more open to change than parents, with the majority favoring integration, although certainly not an overwhelming majority. Parents favored hanging onto the status quo or were uncertain whether to accept integration or not.

I believe there is a tendency on the part of many in society today to look at the situation of African-Americans and point to progress that has been made as proof that protesters are behaving irrationally. I look at this poll and I understand at least one reason why Non-African-Americans should not be too quick to judge. We can pass laws to mandate equality. We can strike down laws that prevent equality. But laws and court decisions do not immediately – or sometimes ever – change people’s perceptions. A law is only as good as the people standing behind that law and supporting the law.

The fact that I am free to become an astronaut does not change the fact that my neighborhood may be as dangerous as a war zone. The fact that I am free to become a university professor does not mean that my darker complexion will not result in a store cop following me from floor to floor in a Chicago department store.

Old though it is, this poll reminds us that the world we legislate is not necessarily the world in which we live.

What a difference a little over 40 years has made in the climate of our country.

The Uruguayan graduate student was talking to a fellow graduate student about the mathematical understanding of her students. Her view was that these Ivy League students were no stronger than Uruguayan math students of her past. In Uruguay, they do not use the grading curve. That Uruguayan student took one class where every student in the class failed. If you don’t get it, they don’t give you the grade. If you don’t get it, then you don’t get credit for it. In America, we will curve your grades so that if you are at the top of the pile of people who don’t understand the material, you may well get an A.

But maybe all those curved grades result in our current math/science crisis. When you don’t understand the latest year’s material, you CAN’T and SHOULDN’T move on until you do understand those math facts. College math proves difficult for some people because they missed fundamental concepts. American math education exposes deep flaws in our educational approach, as we push forward to meet standards — READY OR NOT. Maybe in history, those curved grades do not matter. In history, if you didn’t learn much about the Civil War, you can move along. Next year you can catch up. Or maybe the Civil War will just go away.

But that approach doesn’t work in math. If you didn’t learn the order of operations even though your teacher gave you a “B,” you won’t be able to get correct answers the following year except by luck. By college, holes in background knowledge end up sinking some would-be engineers — who might have been better served by a system that did not curve grades or award effort that resulted in wrong answers.

So many tests, so little benefit. One problem with education today to be the near absence of cost-benefit analysis. Those PARCC tests? How much did they cost? Was anyone asking? What did we get for our PARCC test money? So far we are over half a year out since they took the computerized versions of those tests and we still don’t know what happened. We don’t even have all the test results. Because that test cannot be compared to other state tests it replaced, we know less than we would have known if our students had never taken the test.

Maybe we would have been better off using the money to feed chickens. Decent-sized chicken portions in school lunches would be a clear win. Big chicken legs or PARCC tests? I would vote with the chickens. I know many parents, teachers and especially students who would happily have fed chickens personally to avoid that test.

Where were the cost-benefit analyses that could have shut the test down? We shoveled out money and, worse, classroom minutes for that test. Did anyone stop to wonder how much bang we were getting for our buck? And whether we should have been spending our money on chickens instead?

Page One of the Holiday Letter:

December, 2015— Greetings from the Starbase!

Discerning readers will realize that the map in Star Wars: The Force Awakens leads directly to Earth. Syllogistically speaking, if Ms. Q is even now drinking tea with Luke, and Ms. Q is on Earth, then Luke must be on Earth also. They expect to have their hands full shortly. The Full Moon falls on Christmas this year, and recent resurgences in local werewolf populations can only be cause for grave concern. Combined with the naturally greater vampire threat that occurs due to long December nights, Ms. Q thinks this letter may have to be dedicated to preventative measures designed to protect our readers.

Luke naturally objects, noting that the long history of discrimination against vampires and werewolves has never been justified by events, but may be simply more fall-out from sensationalistic media coverage. How many actual humans have been sucked dry or past the point of no return by vampires? How many dismembered and partially eaten corpses can truly be blamed on werewolves? A careful google search on “How many people were killed by werewolves in 2015” turns up not a single name, although admittedly Luke and Ms. Q did not go through all 2,470,000 search results. The same search for vampires shows no deaths in the recent past. As Luke observes, if you can’t trust Google, who can you trust? So, taking our cues from a front-running presidential candidate, should we require them to be registered? Should we build tall fences around our cemeteries and demand that Hungary pay for them? Some of our werewolves and most of our chupacabras come from Mexico. Can we add werewolf and chupacabra defense systems to the tab we present to Mexico for our spiffy, giant, new fence? What will we do if these creatures do not come in? The humane deportation of vampires can only be done at night. We doubtless do not have the necessary personnel. If the FBI does not have an X-Files unit, they will need one now.

“Trust no on,” Ms. Q mutters. She still remembers the X-Files, which is returning, and none too soon. How many households are stocking silver bullets in high-volume clips? How many average folk can whittle a stake?

Luke sighs. That kind of thinking has led to our problem, he points out. Whether born or made, in his view, the ACLU is overdue at getting involved in the fight against the racial profiling of preternatural creatures that has led countless vampires, werewolves and others to live in fear, casting entire communities as suspect simply because of what they look like and where they come from. Civil rights legislation to protect the rights of these individuals seems overdue. Perhaps Ms. Q could write a letter to her representatives in Congress?

She agrees to write the letter. She adds her first piece of advice to this letter and post. Readers, remember: You never can tell when an insanity defense will come in handy. Especially around the holidays, we often need some excuse for our doings.

Eduhonesty: Sincerest wishes for a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy New Year or whatever your personal holiday from Ms. Q to everyone on Earth or in Cyberspace, including the vampires, werewolves, (vegetarian) chupacabras, etc. Peace and Happiness to everyone on Earth’s outer colonies, and to all alien life forms reading this letter. We wish each and every one of you a Wonderful New Year without regard to when your New Year starts or how long it takes your planet to circle the sun. If your planet does not celebrate holidays, we hope you will nonetheless accept our desire for your continued health and happiness. May the joys of this time brighten your days.

Peace and Happiness and a Blessed Year to all.

(For new teachers especially.)

Some questions should be avoided. “Do you have any questions?” is one of those questions. Students often trot out their ‘no’ without thinking. Even students who have questions may say “no.” Asking questions shifts the spotlight; many students want to stay out of that light as much as possible. Students may be afraid of looking dumb, reasoning that if` no one else is asking questions, maybe everyone else understood the lesson. Questions also extend lessons and students may not want to be the voice that added five or ten more minutes to a particular topic.

“What questions do you have?” will be a more effective question for teasing out areas of confusion.

In general, teachers should avoid questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. You might want to lead in with a yes or no question, but then a follow-up question should come on the heels of your first, easy question.

“Did Austria-Hungary have to enter the First World War? Why do you believe they had to enter the war? (Or not.)

Other options:

“Do you agree?”
“What do you think?” This question leads naturally into, “Why do you think that?”

Mary Budd Rowe suggested a questioning strategy that I like: Ask your question, such as “Why did Germany enter the First World War?” pause for a number of seconds, and then say a student’s name,: “Anne-Marie.” That brief pause causes all students to reflect on a possible answer since they do not know who you will name. This technique puts students on the spot and should be used mercifully, but all of your students ought to be focused on your lesson and questions, so don’t feel too guilty if poor Todd has no idea what you asked or what the answer might be. Todd will probably be readier next time.

Eduhonesty: If creating class participation sometimes feels like pulling teeth, one of the first places to start should be your questions. Are you asking questions that demand thinking? Are you asking enough of these questions? There’s nothing wrong with the occasional yes-no question to give a kid a quick success, but simple questions should usually be followed immediately by questions of a more demanding nature. If an administrative observer happens to be in the room, these questions should always have a follow-up critical thinking question.

(For new teachers and anyone else who is interested.)

You may see one of these old books in a pile of educational discards somewhere. They are often thrown out now because they were produced to be used when an overhead projector and whiteboard were about as close to high tech as some classrooms could manage. Sometimes they are stacked behind stages in dusty unofficial archives and storage areas in older schools. These books don’t have educational standards listed. They have no references to the Common Core. They harken back to a time when teachers prepared their own lessons based on their interpretation of standards and their personal sense of students’ academic needs.

Eduhonesty: THESE TRANSPARENCIES CAN BE GREAT! I always put a piece of white paper beneath them to use with my document camera. I supposed you could photograph them and insert them into documents to project onto your SMART or Promethean board. They make great visuals for opening and closing activities. Many directly tie into common lessons about topics such as metaphors and similes. You get a vivid picture to use as a launchpad for descriptive paragraphs.

Old transparencies are some of the best discards you will run across. Kids are attracted to compelling visuals and a great deal of thought once went into the images selected for these books. Transparency books may work well for both history/social studies and English/language arts. If you see one of these books in the freebie pile, do yourself a favor. Grab it and start leafing through the pages with your next few months’ lessons in mind.

When I write about the slimy chicken and tasteless rice and vegetables, some teachers always look mystified. They eat their school lunches. Those lunches will never win culinary awards, but the food tastes O.K. In some schools, the food even tastes pretty good, as kids choose between sandwich bars and the pizza stand.

But financially-challenged districts face budgetary hurdles that other districts do not, and the food contract goes to the lowest bidder, who then has to try to produce lunches that will make that bidder a profit. Those bidders make elaborate promises, but in the end, the food will not be produced with love or with an eye to getting back a repeat customer. Those student-customers are like citizens in the old Soviet Union in search of shoes. You have your choice of the brown, brown or brown or you can go buy the same brown shoe down the block.

In the absence of love, cooking can still taste fine when the right ingredients are thrown into the process. But in lowest of the low-bidder cooking, these ingredients are the cheapest ingredients available. Eat one of the apples, if you doubt me.

The new, healthy school lunch menu: A great idea in districts with money.