Is anyone in your class Godzilla? I disturbed a Zoom Chat recently. I had entered late and accidentally hit the button for no video. My back-up shot of a fire-breathing Godzilla popped up instead of me. Oops. I could see from their expressions that the presenters of the autism session were a bit spooked.

I was a present version of that absent 5th grade student who had posted a picture of himself on the screen and gone off to play video games. Virtual humans can look awfully real. Unless they are Godzilla, of course.

What does this mean for teachers? Openers that must be turned in. Exit tickets that must be turned in. And addressing Fred or someone near him during the class session with a question — not a gotcha question, possibly not even a critical thinking question – but a quick query that shows Fred actually saw the last slide or two on the screen. If we are interactive enough, we can make sure our “classroom” is filled with real people who are listening. This requires switching in and out of presentations potentially — a skill that must be practiced by some. Is there a bored grandparent or another adult you can use for practice sessions? During the first few weeks of school, I suggest practicing on people who can give you tips. You might even ask adolescents of your acquaintance how to hold on to their audience.

This is new. We are all still learning. Even taking attendance can pose challenges. Social media platforms are definitely your friends, right now reader.

Eduhonesty: Frustrated by your technology? I hate to make suggestions that cost money but… You might benefit from an extra monitor to extend your Zoom or Google view of the class and your material. Ask friends at school or online for help making this work. Donations might rescue you. A surprising number of people have extra monitors sitting around in their attics or basement.

Right now, I know many teachers who are finding their laptops inadequate or problematic. Some are thinking of going shopping. For those who are thinking about buying new technology because current, district tech is not working — and let’s be honest, your district’s tech may not be the best tool for the job — I want to make a strong recommendation. GO BIG! A big screen and big processing power will cost more, but I have never regretted buying more. I have regretted buying less. You may be teaching remotely all year, or off and on throughout the year. There will be enough frustration without having to look at pictures that are tinier than they have to be. You definitely don’t want processing delays. We all know how quickly kids stray off task.

Yes, this may seem like a VERY EXPENSIVE version of buying your own markers, pencil sharpeners, staplers, paper and tape. I’m sorry about that. But these are the minutes of your life. If ever there was a time to treat yourself, I’d say the 2020-2021 school qualifies. Just focus on the fact that this new toy will be in your house or empty classroom. This is not a pencil sharpener to be worn out within the year. This machine is a present you are giving yourself.

If you do decide to buy the technology you want, I have a recommendation: When communicating with the salesperson, tell that person you are looking for a machine that will enable you to play any game on the planet. That move can be counted on to result in scary prices, but we are not talking about a short-term purchase. You may notch your expectations down from the first few suggestions, but I’d start at the top and work down.

You may discover a whole new love of gaming that you never had.

Hugs and good luck to all the short-term and long-term virtual teachers!

P.S. I expect I am preaching to a fully informed choir, teacher readers, but don’t believe anyone who tells you they are planning to open… in a few weeks, in October, or when the numbers come down in the next month or two. Maybe they will and maybe they won’t. That aggravating district laptop might be doing virtual duty for awhile.